Toward Self-Discovery: Breaking Free From Society’s Expectations

Growing up, as a child, my  perspective of the world was framed by what I saw on TV and experienced at gatherings with family and friends. The focus was always on the men's professional achievements – their awards, job promotions, successful businesses, and big business deals. Women, in contrast, were often seen as symbols of beauty and perfection, tasked with household chores like cooking, doing the dishes, and setting the table.

In our society, both then and now, the expectations for a woman's life seem to follow a set script: find a good husband, have kids, and build the perfect family, excelling in every traditional role. A home was more than just a building; it was expected to be a perfect haven of cleanliness and order, full of warmth and life. Being the perfect hostess with a constant smile, never looking tired, and never complaining about anything, was seen as the ultimate achievement.

Time went by and as a teenager, I noticed that these expectations had grown to include women working outside the home. Finding good, prestigious jobs in a man's world. Yet, they were still expected to stick to their traditional roles, it remained taboo to complain or appear tired. Missing a school meeting or a doctor's appointment was not an option, but at work, taking time off for a sick child or arriving late due to childcare issues was looked down upon. And still, you had to look perfect, skinny, with no wrinkles, and no gray hair. 

However, the image of womanhood I saw on TV and in other families didn't match my home life. My mother broke these stereotypes. She was more than just an ideal wife and mother; she was also a successful executive, founder, and board member of different NGOs for the elderly, children and women and a thriving business woman. She managed all this while maintaining a perfect figure. She juggled two careers, advanced education, an MBA, two doctorates, and a happy marriage, all this while raising three well-adjusted kids.

I grew up believing that, given my mother had achieved so much while facing intense societal pressures and shattering numerous stereotypes, the least I could do or the minimum expected from me was to at least match, if not surpass her accomplishments. This belief formed the undercurrent of my aspirations and goals.

At the time of nearly graduating from college, I was already overwhelmed by this contrast between what society expected of us women and what I saw in my mother; all my forward decisions had to be made toward fulfilling what was expected from me, and this shaped my understanding of a woman's role in the world and the immense pressure to reach a nearly impossible standard of success. 

Realizing My Dreams

At the moment I turned 31, I realized that I was far from meeting the goals society had set for me, and based on age-related expectations, I was already running late, if not already past the point of achieving them. I lacked advanced degrees, a spouse, high-ranking job titles, children, pets, and didn't own any business or any significant assets. The day I realized I was missing out on these life goals marked the end of my quiet struggle. The depression that came with this realization was tough, but it also kickstarted a serious journey of self-discovery. I began to wonder: were these goals really mine, or just what I thought I was supposed to achieve?

The path to self-discovery wasn't clear overnight. After some time, I ended a long-term relationship and left my job on the cusp of a significant promotion. The thought of women having to morph into “SUPER women'” just for recognition or a place at the proverbial table didn't sit well with me. I didn't aspire to be a superwoman; I yearned to be authentically myself. I envisioned helping other women to see they could chart their paths, that they didn't need to marry into wealth to achieve their dreams, and that they could be the architects of their fortune.

Today, nearly five years after my unconscious awakening, I feel more at peace than ever. Without even planning it, I find myself in a place I never dreamt of being, fully enjoying the present. I may not have a high salary, children, a master's degree, or a doctorate, but what I do have is a life project that fills me with passion, alongside the best business partner and friend, a husband who is my team, supporting and accompanying me, and Ramona, a dog who is like a daughter to me. Nowadays, I try to live for myself, doing what brings me peace. And right now, that peace comes from fighting to help other women find the freedom I have found.

The True Source of Happiness

We often think that achieving everything we believe is expected of us will ultimately lead to happiness. Many also firmly hold the belief that money is the solution to all their problems, and possessing a great deal of it will bring them joy. Although I am still young with a long journey ahead, my decade of experience in top financial institutions, where I advised some of the wealthiest individuals in Mexico, has offered me unique perspectives. While many of these affluent clients seemed outwardly satisfied, only a few appeared truly at peace, always seeking more. The widespread lack of contentment among the wealthy was eye-opening. This experience taught me that happiness shouldn't be pursued through external means. It isn't about having money, enjoying luxury vacations, or living a lavish lifestyle. True happiness comes from within – it involves valuing the journey and embracing the present, whatever it may look like. Attaining financial health is different from the mere pursuit of wealth. The real goal isn't about accumulating riches; it's about discovering inner peace, which truly comes from within ourselves.

Embracing Our Truth

It's clear that as women, overcoming stereotypes is a daunting yet crucial task, and there's still a considerable journey ahead. True advancement, however, is rooted in unity and mutual support. By standing together and uplifting rather than criticizing each other, we open up a realm of endless possibilities. Our journey is about honoring our authentic selves, rather than conforming to the molds society sets for us. We aim for peace in every role we assume – be it as mothers, wives, homemakers, professionals, single parents, CEOs, entrepreneurs, or simply as individuals carving our unique paths. It's essential for us to make our own choices and pave our own way. While we may not have the power to alter the past, we certainly have the ability to influence and better the present and future generations, lessening the burden of expectations and allowing everyone to be who they truly want to be, with love.